What do I do now ? (Limbo)

I’m stuck in between a rock and a hard place. Finishing education yet no job prospects. I think about my time throughout school, sitting there dazed and confused… Hoping time will go by so that I can leave this place, but also hoping I don’t have to go home to face abuse. Just imagine that you get bullied at school and also at home. A lot of us can imagine that, sadly. I sometimes wonder how life would be like if I actually liked school and if writing wasn’t such a hard career to get into. I look at these writing boot camps and just imagine me going through them, stressing out about a daily commute that I haven’t even gone through yet. I know I shouldn’t limit myself, but being neurodivergent and having chronic pain causes me to feel like this. Like how can I, someone who sneezed and pulled a muscle in my neck causing me to go to the hospital, even have a stable career that requires me to get up every day? I guess everyone’s battles are different.

I’m stuck in limbo.

I don’t know what to do or how to do it. I know I want to be a writer, amongst other things I’m not going to go into. But it’s like I want to be many things, and it has caused me to procrastinate. One thing I do know is that I’m meant to do something. Even though I’m in this limbo, I have a passion to learn more. Ironic how life is. I hated school, but when it comes to finding out more about what’s going on in the world, what my ancestors were doing, or even interesting stories that caught my eye, I’m all for it! I guess everyone goes through these periods of limbo all throughout life.

I guess I'm going to just keep going :)

"I put my hands up and Surrender" Acrylic on Canvas 2023 Artist:

Ebuka P. Agudiegwu @agu_diegwu